I could never have imagined that I would be exposed to and start to learn to get through grief at such a young age. Well, after reading books with “happily ever after” endings, I never had reason to consider having it otherwise in my family.
So when just a few months to my eleventh birthday Mum broke the news of Dad’s passing on to me and my five siblings, it was unexpected. He died after a brief illness.
“Daddy has gone to be with Jesus. We will never see him again until we go to Heaven.” Mum said.
At that moment, it did not make so much sense to me. Of course, I knew Daddy was not there physically. But it was as the days, weeks, and years rolled by that I had more understanding…
I never got to have Daddy take me to school again.
I never had Daddy hold me on his laps or in his arms again.
Daddy was not there as I graduated.
He did not see me grow into the gracious woman I have become.
Neither was he there to give my hand in marriage to my husband.
He was not there to inspire me to dream big dreams nor was he there to see me live my dreams.
And He is not there to love his grandchildren.
Going through the different phases of my life without my Dad caused me pain and heartache again and again. I must say growing up was really difficult and challenging without Daddy around but God has been faithful.
You know, because of my experience with grief early in my life, I learnt to turn to God for help especially as I go through grief.
The truth is, my experiences, (I have had quite a number of losses) may be similar to yours but they can never be the same. Similarly, how I get through grief can never be the same as how you get through grief. However, the one thing we can have in common is the healing, the comfort, and the joy we will draw from the wells of God’s word.
Going through grief is tough but God’s word is tougher. Holding on to God’s word to help you get through grief is like having your life jacket on to keep you from sinking in a storm.
To help me get through grief, I immersed myself in God’s word. I found scriptures that gave and still give me renewed strength any time I begin to feel sorrowful.
Here are some of the scriptures that have helped me get through grief. I hope they bring you as much comfort and peace as they have brought me:
1. Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”
It’s only natural to see the death of a loved one or the loss of any precious thing as something bad or evil. However, God says that as long as we are called according to His purpose, that bad or saddening incident will work for our good.
I know, it doesn’t make sense to think that your husband’s death or your daughter’s death or any other loss you experience has any good in it. But trust me, I have seen the most unimaginable good come out of the most devastating situations. Just look through God’s eyes and you will see the good in that bitter place you’re at.
2. Psalm 91:15 “He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him.“
What could feel more as being in trouble as having your loved one suddenly dead? Especially when you depend on this person to meet any of your needs- emotional, physical, financial needs. It could feel like the whole world is crashing on you and at the same time you’re being sucked up by the vacuum of that person’s absence.
Your feelings are fine. It’s okay for you to feel that way. But it’s not okay for you to stay that way because God has promised to answer you whenever you call on Him-regardless of the time of the day and to be with you in trouble.
He has promised to deliver you from that trouble. He will show you ways to get through the grief, teach you to live again, send some other amazing people to your life.
To cap it up, He promised to honour you. Yes, this same situation that has brought you shame, pain, and heartache will become the pedestal upon which you will stand and be celebrated.
3. Isaiah 52:3 “For the Lord will comfort Zion, He will comfort all her waste places; He will make her wilderness like Eden, And her desert like the garden of the Lord; Joy and gladness will be found in it, Thanksgiving and the voice of melody.”
Barren! Dry! Empty! Wasted! These are some of the feelings that become the norm for you as you get through grief. But here again, God promises to comfort all your waste places.To all the barrenness, the empty feelings, He promises to bring comfort.
He also says He will make you become fruitful and full of life again. Yes, you will find joy in living again.
Experiencing the death of a loved one is undoubtedly jolting. It is devastating, especially because oftentimes it happens unexpectedly; and even when you seem to see it coming, it is definitely not something that you want to happen. Then you try to get over the shock and at the same time, come to the reality of the vacuum created.
It is hard; it is difficult to be comforted. But it is possible.
As a fellow “grief warrior”, I have experienced losses in life that made me mourn and be deeply sorrowful. My father passed on when I was a little above- ten years old; I was suddenly laid off from work during a recession; my fiancé broke up our engagement a few months after I was sacked; my first child died few weeks after going through successful corrective heart surgery.
These were extremely difficult and confusing seasons of my life. But through these different experiences, one sure thing that helped me choose joy in the midst of my grief was God’s unfailing word.
I experienced hope, joy, comfort, love, and many more blessings, as I clung to God’s word to help me get through grief.
When you are learning to get through grief, you can become overwhelmed very easily. That’s why I recommend learning to choose joy one day at a time.
Choosing Joy amid Grief is a 31-Day devotional where I share more of the scriptures I have held on to for dear life during the different grieving seasons of my life. These scriptures gave and still give me renewed strength; they keep me afloat to be able to choose joy as I get through grief. I pray they help you as you go through this challenging season of your life as they have helped me.
I have designed it to help you get through grief one day at a time. So there is one bible verse to reflect on for each day, I share a short exhortation to encourage you, and a word of prayer to bring you comfort, hope, and peace. You can order your copy here.
You are not alone! Getting through grief is tough but you are tougher!
Here are some more posts you can draw strength from:
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